


Surface Tension

by CourierNinetyTwo



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: F/F, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-13 22:30:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19260439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CourierNinetyTwo/pseuds/CourierNinetyTwo
Summary: After Lexi's research takes her to Benezia T'Soni's household, she ends up a lot closer to the matriarch's captain of the guard than expected.





	Surface Tension

**Author's Note:**

> This is set well before Andromeda (and even ME1) and born out of a lot of chats with friends about asari and lines of sexual/non-sexual intimacy.
> 
> Thanks to Inquartata for the use of various Lexi headcanons, and the WB server as a whole for encouraging this.

Lexi hated taking her own advice.

In her experience, most doctors had that problem, although it was more about practicality than anything else. Getting eight hours of sleep a night was ideal, but didn’t line up with hundred-hour-a-week residencies. Meditating every day did improve overall mental fitness and resilience, but good luck finding a quiet room in a Terminus Systems ER.

Faced with the jaw-clenching, nail-biting stress of trying to refine her thesis, the logical course of action would have been to set aside a block of time to relax, reset, and clear her mind. Instead, she’d buried herself to the neck in research and tried to push through the worst of it.

At first, it worked. Lexi earned her first degree ages ago; the academic sprint was familiar as scar tissue, but each time wore her down a little bit more. With two hundred pages left to go, she needed to face facts—either go pick up some not-strictly-legal stims outside the university, or take a damn break.

Then her omnitool flickered with a message. The list of people with her private number could be politely described as ‘truncated’; for convenience's sake, Lexi ensured it never got longer than a single screen.

_Still in Serrice?_

With no greeting or other context, it could only be Shiala. The captain was blissfully straight-forward, which Lexi appreciated in myriad ways. She loved to study, devoured every chance to improve her knowledge, but the political side of academia was filled with doublespeak and grudges playing out over centuries of mentor and protégée.

She debated ignoring the message. Shiala wouldn’t take it personally—another refreshing personality trait—but the matron’s free time was as in short supply as Lexi’s was. For her to send a probing text meant it was one of those rare occasions that Shiala had an open block on her schedule.

After rubbing at the taut line of muscle around the edge of her crests, Lexi flicked the lock off the screen to respond.

_Until this thesis unfucks itself, yes._

A gentle pulse on the screen indicated Shiala was typing, and now that she wasn't looking directly into her datapad full of notes, Lexi catalogued the symptoms of exhaustion pulling at her body; the initial halo of a headache, absent appetite despite a full twelve hours since breakfast, and a failure to concentrate that had pricked at her for the last eleven. The apathy about how these combined factors might affect her work was its own sign.

_Sounds like you need a break. I'm here for forty-eight hours._

Curiosity smashed through her tired mind with all the grace of a saw through a sternum. Lexi fumbled typing her response twice, irked that she needed autocorrect to make her message comprehensible, but grateful that it even could.

_For work, I assume. Is Matriarch Benezia here?_

The first reply came in a blink. _No._

That provided no context at all, so Lexi paused, waiting to see if there would be any follow-up. After a few minutes of silence, another message popped up.

_Randi informed her that I hadn't taken leave in over five hundred days. I was promptly encouraged to do so._

Shiala was far too direct to put quotations around 'encouraged', but Lexi laughed under her breath. The two of them really were a pair, working to the ragged edge unless someone dared to stop them.

A pair of what was a good question, but not one Lexi could answer on less than eight hours of sleep in the last three days combined. Which was why it took her until that moment to parse that Shiala must have come to Serrice to see her. Of course, in typical Shiala fashion, she'd made the trip first so there'd be no need to worry about logistics.

Which meant this was an open offer to relax, and Lexi knew all she had to do was show up.

She glanced at her datapad, and the numbers there might as well have been pre-Athamist runes. Years of excruciatingly gathered information turned gibberish, because she couldn't find the will to unclench and look at it from a different angle.

_Where can I meet you?_

\--

The hotel was just over a mile from Suneiden University, right outside the campus line where everything catered to students with cheap food and easy access to both alcohol and caffeine, depending on the hour. Past that point, the topography changed considerably.

Tevura's Respite was one of Serrice's hidden gems, a lodge built in the traditional fashion but possessing modern luxury within. The original temple markings were still carved in stone outside, designating it as a waypoint for wandering priestesses of the goddess in question. While Lexi doubted many of the faithful frequented the place anymore, it saw plenty of activity Tevura would approve of.

In a way, it was funny. Shiala happened to be one of the most zipped-up asari she'd ever met, utterly professional and private to her core. The same restraint applied to any show of public intimacy, especially discussions regarding sex. Yet somehow, the commando was perfectly comfortable staying at a hotel that hosted far more consorts than soldiers.

Perhaps there was a story there. Lexi made up her mind to ask, if an opportunity ever presented itself.

The hotel was beautiful, she had to admit. Wood older than her grandmother gave the building a dark, gratifying frame, with mirrored privacy glass reflecting the serene garden that surrounded it on all sides. Rich greens and faint biotic blue flourished from flower and vine alike, guiding visitors along a stone path that forked in two directions: one leading to the foyer, the other towards a slyly concealed pool. From the faint spill of steam farther back, Lexi wagered there was a hot tub as well.

Silver doors slid open soundlessly as she approached, revealing a patterned floor of cobalt and gray stones. Each one had to be worth a small fortune, considering the flawless polish and that local mining in Serrice had been banned more than five hundred years ago. The check-in counter was made of the same wood outside, except this was a raw slab cut from a tree, its imperfections weathered away by time.

A voice, cool and deep, carried from her left. "You must be Shiala's guest."

If she had been on Omega, the surprise alone would have made Lexi reach for the nearest heavy object and hope for the best. Yet a lot of asari prided themselves on Thessia for being unobtrusive, for stealth implied grace here instead of a threat.

Lexi let out a deep breath and called a smile to her lips before turning to meet the source of the words.

She was slender and a razor's edge under six feet tall, with violet eyes and a golden stripe tattooed from lip to chin. Absurdly gorgeous for a receptionist in Lexi's opinion, but then again, she did have a taste for symmetry.

"I don't think I've been to a hotel that calls people by their first names," is what she decided to say out loud.

"The captain was referred here on a personal recommendation, and we find that guests like feeling," contemplation flickered across the other asari's face, housed in a subtle twitch of her lips, "known. I'm Khyris, at your service."

"Dr. Lexi T'Perro, but I'm going to guess you already knew that." Goddess, this place had to cost a fortune a night. Then again, she'd never seen Shiala spend a single credit on any sort of indulgence before. With the salary Benezia could afford, this probably didn't account for a drop in the bucket. "Which way should I be going?"

Khyris swept behind the counter, opaque skirts twisting with the movement. She tapped a datapad surreptitiously concealed in the wood, and it delivered a key between a fingertips a second later. "Room eight. As long as you're in her company, you have access to every part of the hotel and its services."

The key was offered and accepted before Khyris gestured down a long hallway. "Enjoy."

If anyone else had invited her to this place, Lexi would have made a thousand assumptions. It was practically a set-up out of a romance vid, except the two of them had never been that way, not exactly.

As much as she reveled in categories and definitions, what she and Shiala had danced around the pin of her analysis like a particularly rebellious _teru_. They had never kissed, much less slept together, although Lexi could recall every time the two of them held hands with the same ease as every redundant krogan organ.

In Benezia's house, she and Shiala had done both meditation and yoga together, and the captain was surprisingly skilled at the latter. It wasn't until an off-hand comment at lunch afterwards that Lexi found out the matron had spent her childhood years as a gymnast, and an incredibly talented one at that.

The same bodily discipline translated well to a highly regimented military career, and the mix of patience and alertness that close protection work required once she’d joined Benezia’s retinue. It also made Shiala a striking anatomical specimen, whose strength far outweighed her shorter-than-average height.

Yet while Lexi had performed more than one thorough examination of the other asari, it stayed well within the bounds of professionalism. They shared meals and idle comforts, but nothing more, despite the occasional comment from others in Benezia’s guard implying otherwise.

Still, one question remained as she started down the hallway, and Lexi paused before she fell out of Khyris’ earshot. “How many guests are in the hotel currently?”

“Just Shiala and yourself,” Khyris answered smoothly. “The spring is our busy season.”

At least that meant privacy wouldn’t be an issue. Maybe that was why Shiala had chosen the venue.

Room eight was the very last door at the end of the hallway. Although she had a key, it seemed prudent to knock, so Lexi rapped her knuckles against dark wood.

“One moment,” Shiala’s voice was muted through the door, but unmistakable nonetheless.

The pause was purposeful, a commando’s reflex before opening any door, so Lexi toyed with the key between her fingers before it slid open.

Shiala must have just emerged from the shower, for she wore nothing but a soft navy towel around her hips. A smaller washcloth was in one hand, and the matron drew it back through her crests, mopping up a few wayward drops of water.

Lexi bit back another laugh. Any other asari might have called Shiala shameless about her body, but that implied that the matron had a single clue about what she was showing off to begin with. No, Shiala was deeply _oblivious_ about her looks, much less how they could influence other people.

It was as disarming as it was charming. Far more than every arrogant, flirtatious commando who had ever tried to get into her pants while they were bleeding out on her table.

“Lexi.” Shiala smiled; that in of itself was rare, a display of openness that didn’t come to the matron easily. “You look like you’re in desperate need of a swim.”

“I’d prefer a full replacement of my brain so I could finish my work, but they seem to frown on that for some reason.” Shiala stepped back from the doorway, and Lexi took that as an invitation to enter. “Were you about to dive in?”

“As soon as you arrived.” With a few quick strokes, Shiala finished drying off her crest and disappeared into the bathroom. “Unless you’d rather eat first? The service here is very accommodating.”

“I noticed.” Lexi dropped her bag—an altogether ragged thing compared to the drape of the bed’s silken blue sheets—and took a seat. It bowed beneath her weight, encouraging every muscle to relax, and she nearly groaned. “Although it isn’t what I expected.”

Shiala stepped out of the bathroom, dry but now entirely naked. Unless asari were on alien worlds, they rarely bothered wearing anything to swim. Lexi kept her gaze politely above the matron’s collarbones.

Green eyes flickered up to the carved paneling decorating the walls. “It is a bit extravagant, isn’t it?”

“And full of Tevura’s finest,” Lexi commented, unable to disguise her amusement. “I’m surprised we’re not surrounded by honeymooners.”

To Shiala’s credit, her blush was so profound that Lexi’s suspicions were proved in an instant; nothing had been intended by the locale, because it had never crossed the matron’s mind. “I apologize. If I lead you astray...”

For Shiala to say that while she was the one standing there buck naked and flushed only made Lexi smile. She hadn’t done it in the weeks before this, too damn stressed for even her favorite distractions to mean a thing, so they were already off to a great start.

“Shiala, you’ve never lead me astray.” To dispel the awkwardness in the air, Lexi shrugged off her labcoat and started unzipping her top. “But you’re very fun to tease.”

Some of the purple retreated from Shiala’s face, her smile sheepish. “Happy to be of service.”

She finished stripping and bypassed Shiala for a quick rinse, not wanting to dive into the water with goddess-knows-what grunge from the lab all over her skin. It didn’t hurt that the water pressure was incredible, heavy pulses of heat that started at the nape of her neck and worked down.

When Lexi stepped back into the room proper, the back door was open. She followed the pane of opaque glass to a sprawling porch, where carefully arranged horticulture provided a fence between the room and the pool. Presumably it was a subtle screen for guests who wanted the sun on their skin while coupling, but Shiala was standing on its edge, staring out towards the water.

She needed this break too, Lexi realized. Tension sat heavy across Shiala’s shoulders, her posture impeccable but rigid. The matron’s jaw was a tight line, pulling down at the taut cords that guarded her throat.

Both of them were horrible at relaxing, always seeing the next task to be done, too driven to pause and risk losing momentum. Lexi made a mental note to ensure Shiala had as much of a reprieve as she did, rather than relying on her as a host.

“The pool’s beautiful,” she commented softly, joining Shiala’s side in a few leisurely steps. “Want to jump in?”

Another smile rose to the matron’s lips, more faint than the first; she must have been lost in thought, mind far from the present. “Please.”

The gate dividing garden from water opened at their approach, and Shiala went right to the deep end. She drew in a deep breath, then lunged into the water with a huntress’ grace. There was barely a splash, only a gentle wave that flowed back over Shiala’s body from head to toe.

Lexi dove in next, shivering as the cold water overwhelmed her senses. It was a good shock to the system, but a shock nonetheless, and she came to the surface with a shaking gasp.

Goddess, her body ached. Now that she could float, let every limb drift wherever it willed, a thousand knots of displaced stress pulsed in her back, pulled at the line of her hips and the base of her spine. All from being hunched in her chair for fourteen hours a day, and the occasional twenty minute spate of yoga could do little to heal that.

“Feels divine, doesn’t it?” Shiala asked, idly treading water a few feet away.

“In the same way as a deep tissue massage,” Lexi quipped, kicking her legs up so she could float on her back. “Like I’m being murdered, but it’s good for me.”

Shiala’s snort was inelegant and entirely unexpected, which made it all the more endearing. “Perhaps I should have visited sooner.”

The next question slipped out of Lexi’s mouth before she could think it through. “Did you really come out to Serrice just for me?”

Silence was Shiala’s initial answer, which meant she had struck a nerve. Lexi bit her tongue, wondering if an apology was warranted, or if it would make things worse. She simply didn’t know, because whenever they were together, it felt like uncharted waters.

“Yes and no,” Shiala finally replied, drifting to the edge of the pool so she could lean against its carved edge. “I didn’t know if you would be too busy for us to see each other.”

“But you hoped,” Lexi pressed, carefully as she could.

That answer came faster, paired with something like longing in Shiala’s brilliant eyes. “Always. I enjoy your company.”

Lexi remembered the first time they had touched in more than a passing coincidence. Benezia had arranged a night of entertainment for the house, including a vid displayed out in the garden so everyone could enjoy the stars and beautiful weather while watching an incredibly cheesy romance that was topping the box office.

She and Shiala ended up sharing the same cushion, sitting shoulder to shoulder as the bumbling matron spilled coffee on her cold-hearted boss, a matriarch who had no time for love. As far as Lexi could tell, Shiala wasn't paying a whit of attention to the movie, and happened to be staring up at the constellations instead.

"Not much for romance?" Lexi had whispered, and even in the dark, Shiala's face took on a more vibrant shade.

"I've never been very good at it," the matron replied. "I'd rather lay here like this with someone than go on a date."

That might have been the end of it, if not for a cold wind blowing in during the climax of the vid. After failing to repress a shiver for the second time, Shiala had slipped an arm around her shoulders. She was mercifully warm, and made no protest when Lexi curled in against her body, even if it made watching the screen impossible.

After that, their relationship shifted by degrees. They took more meals together, gleaned each other’s work histories with careful but personal questions. Sometimes she and Shiala touched, anchored each other at hand or hip, and one night before she finished her data collection, she slept in the captain’s bed, only ten or so feet from Matriarch Benezia’s private quarters.

Nothing had happened, or even been attempted. It was simply comfortable to lay entwined that night, asking for each other’s presence with no other constraints. They hadn’t spoken about it the morning after, and the morning after that, Lexi flew home to Suneiden.

The problem—if it could be called as such, for Lexi didn’t mind so much as have no clue where the full boundaries of intimacy lay—was that many asari friendships looked identical, woven tight but purely platonic. Shiala was a soldier and an athlete, accustomed to casual nudity among companions and communal locker rooms. Lexi had shared a bed with her first three roommates in university, and only stopped because the senior lab suite sacrificed the size of the cot to make room for equipment and experimentation.

Yet there was something else between them, or felt like it. Lexi knew a hundred technical terms to apply, and not a single one of them meant a damn thing without knowing Shiala’s intentions, what desires lay beneath the surface.

So when the matron looked at her that way, _I enjoy your company_ held far more mystery than four words should.

“I want to ask you a personal question.” That was one of the unstated rules between them; no subterfuge when it came to seeking information. “Or maybe a series of them.”

“Will it help you relax?” Shiala asked in turn.

Lexi considered the inquiry seriously, wagering whether any answers that Shiala could give would trample over their little slice of paradise. There was a small risk, but one she was willing to accept. “I think so.”

A smile pulled at Shiala’s lips before she pushed away from the pool’s edge, turning to float next to her. “Then ask away.”

“Who recommended this place to you, and why did you say yes?”

There was a faint splash as Shiala shifted her balance in the water, and Lexi felt her next breath ripple through the pool. “Her name is Matriarch Jala, although I doubt you’re familiar with the name.”

Lexi didn’t have the first clue that was, but they ran in very different circles; that wasn’t much of a surprise. “Never heard of her.”

“She owns a pleasure house on the waterfront.” Shiala paused, just long enough for Lexi to hear the hitch of hesitation. “One I’ve frequented in the past.”

Well, that answered something at least. Lexi had come to suspect that Shiala had no interest in sex at all, which was uncommon but certainly not unusual. “You never struck me as the sort to pay for it.”

Shiala’s laugh was soft, embarrassed. “Everyone who finds out seems to say that. But the money makes it easy. The lines are clear: time, place, distance.”

Lexi turned over on her stomach for a moment, stretching out before righting herself with a subtle kick, the water lapping at her hips. “So you don’t date?”

The curve of Shiala’s brow arched. “Do you?”

She had tried, several times. Each attempt had become an unmitigated disaster, and that was if Lexi felt charitable. It always came down to her work in one way or another; that she spent too much time on it, or couldn’t turn off the part of her mind that separated people into clean, organized slices.

“Not lately,” Lexi murmured, trying not to frown.

“I’ve never fallen in love with anyone,” Shiala said, staring up at the sky. “So I suppose I never saw the point in trying.”

For some reason, that made Lexi’s heart clench, tightening until her chest hurt. Maybe Shiala had taken the sensible path; being in love had only made her past relationships that much harder to sever.

“But sex is on the table?” She was careful to make that a question, open-ended and with no personal reference.

“It’s just another urge, and a rare one at that.” Shiala sighed, then closed her eyes and sank beneath the surface of the pool.

The matron went almost all the way to the bottom before kicking back up, drawing in a hard breath. They were only inches apart, close enough for Lexi to count the shades of green around Shiala’s iris, her pupil a sharp contrast of black.

“I’ve lead you on, haven’t I?” Regret weighed down Shiala’s words like iron. “Musahir tells me I do it to people all the time, never noticing that they want me to look their way.”

“No. You didn’t lead me on.” Lexi put as much firmness as she could into the denial, even if she was still searching for confidence in the rest. “Whatever this is between us, sleeping together certainly isn’t a requirement.”

The relief on Shiala’s face was so raw Lexi felt her jaw go slack in equal parts empathy and surprise. Then the matron leaned forward, just enough for their brows to touch. “I don’t know what this is either.”

Lexi settled into the contact, savoring the gentle intimacy. Her hands came above the water, settling in a cool circle around Shiala’s shoulders. “Even if it doesn’t have a name, we can give it parameters.”

“Boundaries,” Shiala murmured; Lexi nodded. “Should I tell you what I do want?”

She nodded again, the movement resulting in a light nuzzle against smooth skin. “We’ll find where the lines meet.”

“I want...” The matron bit her lip, and Lexi wondered how often Shiala considered her own desires, beyond duty and obligation. “To share meals. To touch you. To share quiet moments. To exist in the same place without a word.”

“To touch me how?” Lexi brushed her fingers up the nape of Shiala’s neck, laying her palm flush against the grooves. It was a subtle pressure, but unmistakable. “Like this?”

Shiala’s answering sigh said volumes. “Yes. However it suits us. Without...other expectations.”

They were both starved for it. Lexi processed the truth like a turian had just kneed her in the gut. Self-denial was easy reflex after a point, but no matter their temperament, they were social animals through and through. “Then do it.”

Shiala’s hands slipped through the water and up her back, touching every notch in Lexi’s spine until calloused fingers cupped the sensitive plane just below her crests. Lexi shivered, and the world was suddenly so much steadier.

The embrace anchored her in the water, to the polished tile beneath her feet. With each slow breath between them, stress bled from Lexi’s shoulders, lanced away without a drop of pain.

“Tell me what you want,” Shiala whispered, as if speaking too loud would shatter their peace.

What a request, one that felt so much larger than them both. “I want to read with your head in my lap while you stare up at the stars. To fit our bodies together when we sleep. And to challenge you with every yoga pose I know, because you’re the only one who’s ever been able to keep up with me.”

Amusement made Shiala’s eyes bright as a tracer round. “I’d love if you did.”

Lexi threaded their list of desires together over and over, seeking a name, a category. Each one was imperfect, and she’d never accepted less than the best, especially with her own work.

A factor she hadn’t considered was how damn hard it would be to think with Shiala’s fingertips stroking slow circles over her skin, chasing away nodules of pain with firm circles of a practiced thumb.

So she settled for the most obvious need, here in the present. “I’m getting really cold.”

Shiala hummed her agreement, but lingered for one more rotation before pulling away. Lexi rolled her neck, and the pop that ensued was just shy of orgasmic, radiating down through her shoulders. “Goddess. Thank you.”

“You winced every time you glanced to the side,” Shiala said, walking towards the steps in the shallow end of the pool. “Probably from looking at your omnitool so often.”

The matron’s comment was utterly casual, but Lexi had lost count of how many times she’d read someone’s body language in the same way and had them recoil at the revelation. No matter how helpful her diagnosis, others seemed to find it intrusive. Save for Shiala, who watched everyone near her with the same exacting eye.

There were robes waiting for them in the room, each one a smooth and shining black. Lexi left hers tied loosely at the waist while Shiala ordered dinner from the internal comm system.

“Do you wonder how many people actually work here?” Lexi asked, noting that the mirror across from the bed was far larger than it needed to be. "Because there's no way Khyris is doing everything on her own."

"Keeping in mind that it's the off-season." Shiala tapped her chin, working out the logistics in a blink. "Security, cooking staff, cleaning, and any consorts on call. Fifteen minimum, a maximum of twenty would be my guess."

There really was nothing more appealing than competence.

They ate together outside as the sun fell, watching color spiral out of the sky until the wash of darkness laid every star bare. Serrice had as much light pollution as the next city-state, but there were diffusers around the district, allowing every constellation to shine nonetheless.

After the intense discussion in the pool, Lexi took pleasure in the silence that blossomed between them of its own accord. There was no need to tend it, nor fill the air with small talk, despite the fact that the food was simply incredible. She ate to her heart's content, although somehow Shiala managed twice as much. Her study on Benezia's household had included caloric intake, although the sheer amount was still staggering.

It wasn't until they retreated to the room again that Lexi found a need for words, although she paired them with the fall of her robe to the floor. "I'm exhausted. Want to curl up with me?"

Shiala's eyes swept over her from head to toe before she nodded. "Please."

With a wave of Lexi's hand, the lights dimmed, and they found one another in the shadows, seeking warmth over cool blankets and sheets. Her legs tangled together with Shiala's, feeling the firm muscle in each calf as they pressed breast to breast. The first night they had slept together, it had been with her stomach to Shiala's back; this was altogether different. Lexi swallowed roughly when her pulse quickened.

It was natural, nothing to be ashamed of, but her face still flushed with heat. Doubt clawed its way up Lexi's throat, wondering if she had made a mistake, if her desire ran deeper than she had said aloud.

Then Shiala's fingers found the subtle grooves along her nape again, stroking with utmost care, and the rest of Lexi's body went slack. Every thought in her head centered on that simple, soothing touch, and her eyes fell closed.

\--

Breakfast was just as decadent as dinner, and once the meal settled, Lexi found a pair of mats so they could meditate and ease into some yoga. The stillness that Shiala could summon always impressed her, like wiping every thought from her mind came as second nature. Then again, the matron was a far more devoted siarist than she herself had ever been; Omega's only uses for religion boiled down to cursing and funeral rites.

"Which pose do you want to start with?" Shiala asked once her eyes had opened again. "Kurinth's Bow?"

"As a warm-up, yes." After unfolding her legs, Lexi stood up and stretched her arms to the sky. Their robes had been abandoned after the meal, and she reveled in the sun soaking into every inch of her skin, hungry for it after so many months locked in her lab. "But then I'll run you through Panaka's Trials."

A hum of curiosity left the other asari's lips as she shifted her legs apart, leaning towards one foot in a deep stretch. "Sounds challenging."

That was an understatement, but the excitement in Shiala's voice was carefully understated too. Lexi smiled, then turned onto one side, her left hand and foot balanced against the mat as she pushed the rest of her body up, right leg and arm directed to the sky. "This is the Trial of Balance. Keep your core tight, then reach as high as you can."

Shiala mirrored her after a moment's adjustment, the violet of her skin even more striking under a golden band of sun. "That actually feels quite nice."

"Well, commandos do tend to be gluttons for punishment," Lexi quipped, then carefully brought down her high arm back to the mat, followed by her leg. "Move into a handstand."

As Shiala complied, Lexi did the same, kicking herself up with a deep breath in. She stabilized her wrists, testing the tension along her elbows before very slowly raising her right hand off the ground. Lexi's center of gravity threatened to waver for all of a second before settling, a delicious ache rippling through her left arm. "And this is the Trial of Stability."

From this position, she couldn't turn her head, but heard the shift as Shiala moved on her mat, and the light huff of breath when she brought her feet up into the air. "I can see why."

"You still did it on your first try." Bringing her hand back down, Lexi switched sides. "Lexi from a hundred years ago is cursing you out."

Shiala laughed, then groaned as the movement threatened her balance. "No jokes."

"Not until the next one, anyway." Lexi counted five more seconds, then flattened her palms against the mat, falling back flat against it with a light thump. "Stretch your hips before sitting up."

This pose was still a little difficult for her personally, but Lexi knew she only had herself to blame after falling out of practice. She brought her knee back behind her shoulder, then hooked her calf over the bicep below. With both hands on the mat, Lexi crossed her ankles over one another and pushed up, leaning her weight forward to keep the momentum. Her legs stretched out, and she heard a murmur of disbelief from behind.

"Dare I ask what that one's called?" Lexi breathed past the protest in her arms as she listened to Shiala move. "I'm going to make Musahir try this when I'm back home."

The image of the muscle-bound lieutenant trying to fold herself into this position almost made Lexi laugh hard enough to fall. "What did you just say about jokes?"

"I was entirely serious," Shiala protested, and hissed through her teeth before shifting forward into the pose.

"Well, this is the Trial of Skill," Lexi murmured, recovering her breath in one slow inhale. "So if you tell her that first, she won't give up until she gets it."

"I would never bait Musa's pride on purpose," the matron said, then chuckled. "She does that all by herself."

After an arduous sixty seconds, Lexi let her arms relax, then unhooked her legs and stretched across the full length of the mat. "Ready for the last one?"

"I wouldn't want to disappoint Panaka," Shiala said, flashing a small smile.

Lexi rolled her shoulders, ensuring any leftover stiffness was gone, and lay on her stomach, bringing her feet up. She swung them once, twice, then leaned onto her palms, legs coming back down towards her head. Her abs were already ablaze, but Lexi flattened her arms against the mat, pushing until her body was suspended above the ground. With a firm press, she balanced in the full handstand, ignoring the subtle tremble in her triceps.

"Goddess," Shiala murmured under her breath. "Alright, then."

The slow count down from thirty tested every ounce of stamina Lexi could summon, but at least she had the benefit of watching Shiala in the same state. Sweat glistened on the matron's brow and the flexed width of her shoulders, defined enough for Lexi to memorize every delightful angle and then some.

"And that...was the Trial of Endurance," Lexi said, pulse echoing in her skull as she slowly came out of the pose. Every inch of her body felt both limber and exhausted, combining in a chemical cocktail that made spending the rest of the day lounging under the sun terribly tempting. "What did you think?"

Shiala leaned back into a kneeling pose, head down against the mat. "That I'm even more impressed with you than I already was."

A hint of heat flared across Lexi's face; thankfully, the matron couldn't see it. "Oh?"

"I'm used to being the most flexible one in the room." With a chest-deep sigh of relief, Shiala settled back against her heels. "Up for another swim?"

The cool water was heavenly after so long in the sun. Shiala fell into doing laps almost immediately, and Lexi joined her for a few of them before deciding to enjoy the view instead. By the time a civilized hour for lunch rolled around, she was starving.

Thankfully, nothing provided required any tableware, and it was nice to share off the same wooden slate with Shiala, their fingers brushing between bites. Seafood in Serrice came at a premium, but clearly the bill was the last thing on the matron's mind.

"This is ridiculous, you know," Lexi said as they wandered back to the room. "How am I supposed to go back to my lab suite after this?"

"Hopefully without a crick in your neck," Shiala replied, pressing the panel against the wall so the porch door slid shut. "I was going to suggest we spend the evening in the hot tub, but I have a different idea."

For a moment, Lexi considered how much she could stand to be spoiled before there was nothing left of her composure. "I'm listening."

"There's a very nice bathtub in our suite, if you haven't noticed." The matron stepped past her, ducking into the bathroom. "And Jinan chastised me the other week for not knowing what a bath bomb was."

"Do they have them here?" She realized how foolish the question was when she followed Shiala's path, and found the other asari wrist-deep in a basket full of them. "I suppose I should have asked what they _don't_ have."

Shiala plucked one from the top and held it up for inspection, the smooth surface blue and glittering with violet sparkles. "I can't tell the difference between one and the next."

They were common gifts for birthdays and maturity celebrations, enough that Lexi indulged with more than one friend at the university. She eyed the basket carefully, then pulled out the silver bath bomb in the center. "Use this one."

After leaning over to start the water, Shiala took the smooth sphere from her hand and examined it carefully. "What's so special about this one?"

"It'll make bubbles," Lexi answered with a smile.

That earned a soft laugh. "I had no idea you were into bubble baths."

"Who isn't into bubble baths?" she shot back, then gave Shiala an appraising look. "Let me guess. You bathe in nothing but ice cold waterfalls to test endurance and find your center."

"Far from it." Shiala leaned back against the wall and crossed her arms, drawing Lexi's eye to the sharp band of muscle along each one. "I can appreciate some heat."

No comment. There was no possible way she could comment on that without it sounding like something out of a porn vid. "Then you'll appreciate the bubbles. Trust me."

As soon as the tub was full, Shiala dropped the bath bomb in. Lexi would have let it float along the surface, but she realized a second before impact that the matron had a lot more experience with grenades than essential oils.

At least the splash wasn't too significant.

She kneeled down by the edge of the tub before easing her feet into the water, letting out a soft groan at the warmth. Silver bubbles boiled on the surface, spitting iridescent sparkles this way and that as the bath bomb dissolved, casting the scent of lavender and _nize_ into the air. It was delightful, but so was the sight of Shiala sinking into the tub, displacing metallic swirls around warm purple skin.

Lexi let gravity take her the rest of the way down, settling in the carved seat and stretching out her legs. The bubbles continued to reproduce one after another, budding like cells, and she kept her eyes there as Shiala sat down next to her.

"They are pretty," the matron commented.

"Aren't they?" Their knees brushed together, and Lexi shifted her hand just enough to catch Shiala's fingers in her own. "Is this alright?"

"More than alright," Shiala said, then her smile took on a flustered edge. "I was going to offer a massage, actually, if you were interested."

That seemed both dangerous and impossible to refuse. "Considering you did more for my neck earlier than half the chiropractors I know, I'd be foolish to turn that down."

Her amusement faded instantly, replaced by a serious mask. "You can turn anything down. I promise."

"Oh, Shiala, I know." Lexi gave the matron's fingers a tight squeeze. "But goddess, I don't want to."

Thankfully, the hard edge to Shiala's expression was wiped away just as swiftly. "Well, that does make me feel better."

Shiala pulled her hand away, but it was for the far better reason of turning Lexi to gain full access to her back. She noted a shift in muscled thighs as Shiala parted her legs, opening a space to lean back between them. Calloused hands found Lexi's shoulders, immediately seeking out two sore points above her scapula that almost made Lexi's eyes roll back.

She hissed between her teeth, then chastised herself, remembering to breathe. "That would be from hunching in my chair."

As Shiala hummed in agreement, she rolled her thumbs against each knot, slowly building up the pressure until a whimper caught in the back of Lexi's throat. When she let go, the relief was immediate, flowing through her like pure heat. "Ow."

"That was a slightly delayed 'ow'," Shiala murmured, clearly amused.

Rather than acknowledging that comment, Lexi let her curiosity come to the fore. "So where does a lifelong commando learn professional massage?"

Shiala's pause was telling enough. "The same place I received my referral from."

That provoked more questions than answers. "Aren't the consorts supposed to be the one responsible for giving massages, not the other way around?"

"I like...service." When Shiala settled on the latter word, it held a firm weight. "And if you pay well enough, they'll teach you anything."

Lexi opened her mouth to ask what else they had taught her, then shut it, ignoring the warmth rushing up the back of her neck. Then again, she could only ignore so much when Shiala's hands were working towards that column of muscle in slow circles. She decided to focus on her breathing instead, keeping it steady as spikes of pain bled into pleasurable release.

Then she fit two and two together, frowning. "Don't think I'm letting you get away with this."

The matron's hands stilled. "What?"

Maybe that had come out a bit more threatening than intended. "Taking care of me when we're both supposed to be relaxing."

"Ah." It was a soft sound, but she didn't have to look back at Shiala to sense the other asari's guilt at being caught. "I do benefit from this, in other ways. And I thought that relieving pain might feel too close to work for you, considering."

"I am absolutely not on duty right now," Lexi countered, sighing as her shoulders dropped a full inch. Damn, that felt so much better. "So I think it's more likely that one of the only things you're bad at is letting go when someone else is watching."

Shiala went so quiet and still that panic spun a sharp web through Lexi's gut. That must have been a step too far, prying too deep, always working her way under someone's skin until they couldn't stand the vulnerability, and then--

"Is one of your degrees in psychology?" The matron's fingers resumed their tender unraveling, as if they hadn't paused at all. "Because I think you know me better than my own parents at this point."

Rather than being offended, Shiala's tone read as deeply impressed. Lexi let out her next breath with a hard burst of relief, then drew in another just as quick. "Two, technically, if you include xenopsychology."

"I should have known." Slightly scarred knuckles drew a firm path down her spine, the pressure urging everything back into alignment. "And I wasn't trying to stop you from helping me relax, I just..."

When Shiala fell silent again, Lexi tried to fill in the blanks. "Don't know how to ask?"

"Exactly."

They drained the tub after Shiala finished the massage, although the entire experience had given Lexi a new idea.

After drying off and collapsing back on the bed, she gestured to the empty space beside her. "Get on your stomach so I can return the favor."

Shiala paused halfway through folding her towel. "Is that an order, doctor?"

Lexi rolled her answer like a pair of dice through her head before taking the gamble. "Only if you enjoy when I pull rank on you."

A darker shade of purple rose to Shiala's face. "More than I should, probably."

"No judgment." That simply wouldn't be fair. "But come lay down."

Once both towels were folded and set aside, Shiala did, face-down against the pillows and arms up near her head. It put the muscles of her back into sharp definition, even in the dim evening light of the room--meant to evoke the glow of nature outside.

"If I straddle your hips, will that bother you?" Lexi asked, all too aware that they were treading a line, if not trodding directly on it.

Yet Shiala's answer was a soft _no_ , which was the only encouragement she needed to do just that. Lexi settled her knees on either side of Shiala's hips, brushing her fingers up the length of the captain's back.

"While I know you're familiar with traditional massage, I doubt you've experienced what I'm about to do," she began, searching for the biotic nodes at the very base of Shiala's neck, where nerves were tightly clustered, "or at least I hope not, since it should only be performed by a medical professional."

A curious sound was the only reply, so Lexi pressed down on each node simultaneously, rolling her thumbs in careful, counterclockwise circles.

She wouldn't call the sound Shiala made a moan so much as a strangled gasp of surprise, wrenched low enough in her throat to add a certain rasp to the edge of it. " _Goddess_."

"The same way scar tissue builds up around muscle with hard use, our biotic connections can suffer similar strain," Lexi continued, as if there had been no interruptions. "Mind you, even the most active commandos rarely use their biotics daily, so the small spikes and fluctuations tend to go unnoticed. Activating those connections, however, tends to bring a great amount of relief."

Her fingers slipped an inch down Shiala's spine, feeling for the next node. The majority were along the spine, although every extremity possessed at least one or two. Lexi breathed in, then rolled her thumbs again with the exhale.

Shiala's fingers grasped the pillow tight enough to lighten her knuckles, groaning between clenched teeth. Then her entire body relaxed, a hint of biotic spark dancing along her skin. It was a common side effect of this treatment, but considering they were both naked and pressed together, Lexi had to bite her tongue to keep her own biotics from responding, seeking the common current between them.

Words. She needed to use her words. "Does it hurt too much?"

"I wouldn't exactly call it pain." Shiala's voice had dropped a notch, slightly ragged. "More like sheer intensity."

"If you want me to stop, just say the word." It was the professional thing to say, even if she was wrenching Shiala's capacity for speech out of her body with every touch. "There are three more pairs along your spinal column."

Each time she built up pressure along a node, Shiala's breath caught hard in her lungs, the muscles in her back strung tight as an ancient bow. Then Lexi let go, arcing over the most sensitive point, and the exhale was punched out of Shiala, body going limp. The sounds the captain made always changed, though, building with exertion like she was running a marathon.

They were very, very nice sounds.

"Is this...arousing you?"

Shiala's question cut through the warm haze suffusing Lexi's mind like a blade made of ice. Her hands stilled against the last set of nerves, touching but not pressing down. Logically, there wasn't any point in denying it--Shiala was quite literally between her legs--but she was still embarrassed, like a maiden caught spying during Janiris.

"Yes." Just like the nerves under her fingers, the tension in her chest suddenly unspooled; the honesty felt good. "We can stop this if that's a problem."

"We don't have to stop unless you want to." Shiala turned her head carefully, just enough for Lexi to see the black of her irises had flared. "I was only curious."

With the truth acknowledged, Lexi settled into the feeling. It was less a need or an urge to sate, and more a state of being. She was warm, limber, but without the ache of desire or other impetus, there wasn't any reason to push one way or another.

"One more, then," she said, and leaned into the touch low on Shiala's back. Lexi counted to five--the captain's breath hitched at four--and made twin firm circles with her thumbs. "How's that feel?"

It was impossible not to smirk when Shiala's only reply was a grunt.

Lexi carefully raised her hips and shifted back onto the bed, laying on her side to face the matron. "Don't tell me I've managed to wear out the strongest commando I know?"

"Would you like the ego boost or not?" Shiala murmured into the pillow, then turned to meet Lexi's eyes with a smile. "I was savoring the afterglow."

 _Afterglow_ was one way to put it. Lexi bit her lip, wrestling with a hundred different questions before settling on the most obvious. "What are we doing?"

"I..." It was a strange thing, seeing Shiala lost for words. "I don't know."

That, like so many of their circumstances, was mutual. "I can think of one way to find out."

She reached out to cup Shiala's jaw, and despite the fact that they had been in a far more compromising position just a moment before, the intimacy echoed to her core, deep and resounding.

The captain's eyes warred with color, white and black struggling against one another, held at center by a vivid green. "A meld?"

"Only if you want it." _This_. "But it's a lot easier to read each other's minds when they're actually connected."

Lexi had never heard the sort of laugh that spilled out of Shiala's lips just then; sweet and short, self-effacing. "I can't argue that logic."

"You can say no even if it's not logical," she countered, gentle as she could.

"I know." Shiala's hand mirrored hers, tracing the softer edge of purple knuckles across one cheek. "But I don't want to."

Lexi couldn't count the amount of melds she'd had in her life, starting with family before she joined with fellow students and lovers, not to mention where the latter two crossed over. Yet if it wasn't for comfort or knowledge, it had always been as part of sex. This was none of those things, yet all of them at once, tangling boundaries and borders together into a single inscrutable knot.

She let the barriers around her mind collapse, open yet reaching out. A blink later, Shiala did the same, their biotics sparking in sympathy. Her eyes bled black, the world ringed with blue as the meld caught like a flame, heat to tinder.

The feeling cooled fast, as if the two of them had just plunged into the pool again. It was a stable point to start searching from, but Lexi's heart quickened as her thoughts rose in a deluge, emotion chasing close behind.

_I have no idea what I'm doing but you understand me. The way that you look at me says you understand like no one else, which is why I can't risk more, ask for more. You're not an instinct to be sated, I don't want to use you--_

When the last thought zipped through her head like lightning, Lexi realized it wasn't her own stream of consciousness, but Shiala's. A shiver went through her body, echoed in the meld before it evened out again, separating their minds by a few degrees. Enough to know the full shape of her own feelings again, even if they were deeply similar.

It was only then that she parsed how deeply _anxious_ Shiala was, a trait she'd never ascribed to the asari even in passing. Far from her stoic, implacable mask as captain, or the gentle reserve she showed in private, Shiala's mind was raw with overstimulation, both mental and physical. Everything she felt was felt keenly, bone-deep.

The fact that she could bury it at will was equal parts impressive and concerning.

 _You aren’t using me_ is the first thought Lexi floated back. _I don’t know what I’m doing either. My past relationships were—_ the memories took over, flashes of mornings where she woke with acid in her throat from the stress of an argument the night before, nights where sleep was impossible to begin with, crushing her work on both ends.

A meditative calm looped back through the meld from Shiala, stopping the tide. It was a salve smoothed over her heart, sealing away the serrated edges of pain, old and new. Lexi drew in a deep breath and did the same in turn, seeking out the most sensitive parts of the other asari's psyche to soothe and sedate.

_I can’t separate who I am from what I do. I’ve tried, I’ve pretended, but eventually the people I’m with think I’m treating them like a test subject._

Outside their shared mental space, Lexi felt Shiala's surprise ricochet through her body before it echoed in the matron's mind.

_You care so much, Lexi. So much you always want to find a way to do more, to make the lives of people you care about better. It’s incredible. That's not a flaw._

Had they not been in the meld, if Lexi possessed the slightest doubt about Shiala sparing her feelings, she would have played the comment off. Yet to hear it inside her head with the utmost sincerity almost unraveled her completely, tears rising to the corners of dark, shining eyes.

 _Well, you're the first to say so,_ she countered, but only as acknowledgement, not protest. _And_ _I keep feeling like I'm going to overstep with you._

Shiala's thumb drew a gentle circle over her cheek, soft but electrifying. _Overstep how?_

There weren't words for it, so Lexi let another barrier fall, allowing Shiala to probe her thoughts and memories since the moment she arrived at the hotel. Her first instincts meeting Khyris, seeing Shiala fresh from the shower, the pool, the shared meals, the pride that swelled in her chest when the captain said she was impressed. Longing yet not wanting, not exactly; a tangle of desire that refused to take a name.

In return, she was offered Shiala's memories of an athletic but quiet youth, her early transition into matronhood. An asari mother, loving but utterly devoted to her work and art. An elcor father forged by the military, who expressed emotion through senses that few aliens prioritized. Together Shiala learned the virtues of duty and distance, until there was little separation from self and soldier.

Intimacy came from the calm authority of priestesses in Athame’s temples, from siarist philosophers teaching meditation. Yet when Shiala was touched it was almost always for practical reasons, until pragmatism was reflexive. Desire built like water behind a dam, vented only in deeply private spaces.

It was a wonder Shiala hadn’t snapped out of sheer frustration.

That thought must have been too loud, because Lexi registered the matron’s amusement through the meld almost immediately.

“It’s all I know,” Shiala said aloud, the truth echoed through the meld. “It’s the only way I know how to be.”

She wasn’t judging, truly. Lexi had no interest in changing Shiala, reshaping her into someone else. Yet she wanted to provide some comfort, a safe harbor.

The reply was swift: _you are._

A smile pulled at Lexi’s lips. Shiala offered the same in turn; being accepted without struggle of hesitation was a simple notion, yet so desperately rare.

They explored that space together, playing in the calm like a transcendental sea. Distantly, Lexi was aware of the biotic energy dancing across her skin, jumping to Shiala's in harmless jolts and waves. The matron's responded in kind, every touch tender and absent design.

In the part of her mind still sectioned away, Lexi considered what it would mean to sleep with Shiala, to do more than physically share her bed. It didn't connect well; she imagined if she asked, that Shiala would consent to try, but the thought of trying to build a middle ground for its own sake turned sour fast. Perhaps it would be pleasant, but ran a far greater risk of sabotaging the closeness they cultivated together.

She had always quantified sex as a fun indulgence, a lovely way to find out so many new things about a partner, inside and out. When it was good, _goddess_ it was good, but when it became an obligation or escape, the potential for damage was incredible. Perhaps this was a space to recover from that past friction and hurt, knowing Shiala would never push for what Lexi worried to give.

 _You went away for a moment_.

The matron's thought was a light push against the meld, like a hand to the shoulder. A blush rose to Lexi's face, knowing she was caught out.

_Because I had to work some things through. Don't worry._

Shiala smiled. _No worry. Only curiosity._

 _Whatever this is between us, I think it could become anything._ As Lexi returned the smile, she tilted her head, just enough to rest her brow against Shiala's. _And I like that. I want it to grow and change, as both grow and change._

Another wave of content spilled through the meld. _I like it too_.

Lexi wasn't sure how long they stayed joined, sifting through memories like sand, following the path of each other's emotions no matter which direction they tread. It wasn't until fatigue started to both of them that the meld was mutually severed, leaving her and Shiala in the pure darkness of the room. She could see the outline of the matron's body, but little more.

"You--" Lexi stopped and cleared her throat, throat dry from lack of speech. "You're leaving tomorrow, aren't you?"

"I'm supposed to, yes," Shiala replied.

Even with the other asari's face cast in unreadable shadow, a hint of hesitation carried through the words. She knew that when pleasure weighed against duty, Shiala would always follow the latter--unless she was given a reason otherwise.

"Stay." Her fingers sought out Shiala's, giving them a light squeeze. "I know you have the leave saved up. Let's make a week of this before we have to dive back into our own separate lives again."

It was no exaggeration. Lexi knew that her research could take her away from Thessia with ease, and Shiala never left the homeworld unless she was serving at Benezia's side. They only had a narrow window of time to share with one another, and Lexi wanted to shine as much light through it as possible.

"I..." Shiala's fingers squeezed hers back. "I'll call in the morning. It's late enough in Armali that they'd think it was an emergency if I tried now."

Their minds were no longer linked, so Lexi had to show how happy that made her another way. She pressed close to Shiala, looping her free arm across sculpted shoulders in a tight embrace, face buried between the curve of the matron's neck and soft pillows.

"Good," she murmured, exhaustion pulling at the word, "now let's go to sleep."

The mumble that came in answer proved that Shiala was already halfway there, and Lexi smiled before consciousness fell into dreams.

Maybe by the next time they saw each other, she'd have a special name just for the two of them.

\--


End file.
